Role of Mothers in Shaping Up Career Of Girls

Introduction

In today's busy world often the support provided and quantum of work done by women is not fully recognized. A large portion of the mother's time and energy is spent on ensuring that the families are well looked after. There are times when the mothers choose not to work or take up a jobs with less responsibility so that needs of the families are met. Habitually mothers are so busy or engaged in meeting the needs of their families that they neglect their own health. Although the mothers are the backbone of the family, their own needs are invisible to other members of the family. It is only when they break down; the impact is felt by the family.

Of the many roles mothers play, perhaps one of the most important roles is guiding their daughters in making work choices and planning their career. Unlike other roles that mothers play and is very obvious, this role is difficult to gauge and has not been widely documented.

In the light of the above information and to gauge how critical mothers are in supp orting their daughters help shape their future lives, the author conducted a survey and to find some facts around this hypothesis. The purpose of this survey or this paper is not underestimate the role played by fathers and but it is to recognize the role played by mothers in this area.

There were two objectives of the survey

1. To assess the support provided by the family members, particularly by the mothers of the professional girls during crucial period of their career formation.
2. To understand the daughter's perception of their role in their lives.

Survey and Data

The data has been collected through a survey administering a questionnaire and purposive sampling method was used. Questions were framed in two broad areas namely family background and support provided /contributions made by the family members, in particular by the mothers. Other questions relating to the family relationships to ascertain the level of comfort and relationship between the respondents with their family members were also asked.

Sample size

The sample of 33 girls studying in the colleges was selected. These girls came from seven states:

• Delhi - 9
• Haryana - 4
• Jharkhand - 1
• Punjab 10
• Uttar Pradesh 7
• West Bengal 1
• Kerala 1

 

Some of the information obtained through the survey was:

• Majority of the respondents were between 21 – 23 years old, 22 (66 %); the girls mainly were enrolled in engineering courses i.e. computer, communication and chemical (48%). Other major degree being undertaken by the girls were MBA (33%). Other streams were architecture, BCA, and Fashion Designing. At the time of data collection 29 (88%) girls were staying in the hostel and 4 (12%) were commuting from their home to their colleges.

 

• In response to the question as to who guided the girls to join the course they were enrolled in, number of responses was received. Most of the girls stated that it was mainly their parents, fathers 18 (55%) and their mothers 17 (52%). Other than the parents, girls were also motivated by their teachers, sisters, relatives and friends. Importantly in few cases the girls themselves took the decision.

• To get an idea about the family background, information on type of family, educational level of the parents and their profession was also gathered. As far as profession of the parents was concerned, fathers of the 12(36%) girls were in business and of 21(63%) were in service (teacher/lecturer in college, doctor in a hospital, manager in banks etc). Mothers on the other hand had only 11 (33%) working and they were in service (like teacher, accounts manager and in other jobs).

 

• Majority of the girls27 (98%) belonged to nuclear families as it is a growing trend in urban areas.

• Regarding qualifications of the parents the data revealed that all except mother of one girl were graduates. Fathers of 13 (24%) girls were graduates and of 8(24%) post graduates. Additional qualifications passed by the fathers were hotel management, MBBS, MBA, Engineering, PhD and BTec.

 

• On asking about any difficulty in initially adjusting in the hostel, 18 (56%) said yes. They however overcame this problem with the help of old friends and seniors in the hostel and counseling by the family members. Talking to their family particularly with their mothers on land- phone, on mobile, communicating on internet helped girls in reducing home sickness and depression .Often parents used to visit their daughters in the initial first and second years of their college days.

• Regarding any indication given by the family members regarding money spent on their education, only 9 (27 %) said yes and 21(67 %) said no.

• Multiple responses were received on asking about freedom and frankness with their family members to discuss various issues within family. Data showed that majority of the girls 23(70%) could discuss anything with their mothers and only 14 (43%) said that they felt free to talk to their fathers. Few other responses on this question included relatives like brother, sister, sis- in- law and grandparents.

 

• Topics of discussion within family included their studies, career, friends, health nutrition, and status of women, family management and marriage. A few of them said that they discuss anything except sex education or such intimate topics.

 

• Equal no of the girls said that it was their mothers and their friends who immediately understand that they are depressed or are having any problems. This was followed by their father's .Other responses included sister, brother, cousins.

Social and other Skills

On questioning about the persons who taught social skills like dealing with the people, do's and don'ts in the society and coping- up and dealing with the stress and stressful situations , the responses showed that most of the skills were taught by the parents.

Table 1

Results showed that a large percentage of mothers played a big role

Skills	Father	Mother	teachers	Sisters	friends	Others	grandparents	Experience/exposure
Dealing with people	20 ( 60)	18 (56)	1 (3)	2 (6)	3 9)	-	2 (6)	7 21)
Don'ts and do's	19 (57)	27 (81)	-	3 9)	4 12)	1 3)	1 3)	3 (9)
Coping up with stress	14 42)	15 45)	-	5 (15)	6 (18)	2 (93)	--	3 (9)

Figures in parenthesis ( ) indicates percentage.

Support provided during 12 the standard and board examinations/entrance examinations

The class 11 and 12 are considered to be a critical time in the student's life and study preparations are done with seriousness during this time. This is the time when they study for long hours, attend tuitions/coaching classes, and restrict their social visits. After appearing in the12th board examinations, another stressful period begins when family members and children are busy in attending coaching classes for entrance tests, appearing in entrance examinations .The type of support provided and the environment at home during this period makes a huge difference in the scholastic achievements, and results obtained during the year 12 make an impact on the career chosen by the children.

To know the type of contributions made by the family members during these crucial period questions were asked .The responses are shown in the following table.
TABLE 2

Support provided by family members /activities conducted by

Category of support provided by the family	Mother	Father	Herself	Other members	maid/servants	Friends
Providing meals and tea, coffee etc	32 (96)	6 (18)	2 (6)	3 (9)	1 (3)	-
Providing refreshments during late nights	22 (66)	8 (24)	5 (15)	4 (12)	-	-
Providing company when girls felt bored	20 (60)	12 (36)	-	21 (64)	-	4 (12)
Keeping girls belongings/materials in order	19   (56)	-	11   (33)	4   (12)	1   (3)	-
Waking her as and when required	18 (55)	13 (39)	6 (18)	6 (18)	-	-
Dropping and fetching her from tuitions/school	2   (6)	14   (42)	14   (42)	1   (3)	-	-
Keeping home environment conducive for studies /restricting social visits	25   (76)	19   (57)	1   (3)	8   (24)	-	-
Taking off from the work /rescheduling the office work ------------------------- Helping in home work and projects—and assignments	15 (46) ---------- 7 (21)	14 (42) -------------------- 9 (27)	-   --------------   7 (21)	3 (9) ------------   (9) (27)	-   ----------------	--   ---------

Figures in parenthesis ( ) indicates percentages.

The responses in the above table indicate that mothers have played a crucial role in helping their daughters cope during the stressful time of the entrance examinations and during initial period of girl's college life. Although some of the support provided may be quite basic, but this type of support provided to them ie meals and refreshments, providing support and counseling whenever girls were feeling low, being an alarm clock for the daughter and waking her as per their study schedule, keeping home environment conducive for studies and taking off from the office (if they are working outside) and helping in school assignments and projects etc .All this helped girls obtain good results and make suitable study and career choices.

To get an idea about the attitude of the girls towards their family members and their home few general questions were asked. The responses are as indicated below;

• Regarding spending of salary after getting first job the responses were – that they will give their whole salary to their parents, buy gifts for their parents and close relatives , will buy jewelry for their mothers ,will spend on herself and donate in a temple and needy ones .

 

• On asking what girls liked most about their home, multiple responses were received .The most common were ,that they feel secure ,comfortable , feel wanted , loving atmosphere and broad mindedness of the family members .A few of them said their family, their mother and food provided were the most likeable things at home .

• Role of mother in the life of the girls (as perceived by the girls.)

The responses included: she was the most important person in her life, mother has been her strength, has helped her in shaping her personality, helped her in developing various skills, has been a guide and advisor, is a driving force , she plays a positive role in the family, provides security, best friend , provides inspiration and motivation, is present whenever she needs her ,is a role model, understands problems and plays important role by just being there .

Author ; NIRMAL TIKKU