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- Urban Women; Common Disturbing and Stress Factors; An analysis
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Urban Women; Common Disturbing and Stress Factors...An analysis *
The Article is based on observations; review of literature and on the basis of personal experiences.
With times there are changes in the life styles of people. Priorities are given to materialism, competition to achieve more and more and there is status war amongst people .As a result people are facing more challenges leading to more stress .All sections of society are facing it and women are not spared. They also face challenges in their day today life.
Need for the article and for whom; the present article is focused on challenges, difficulties and disturbing situations being faced by urban women.
There are various factors that disturb women causing stress that lead to depression. These could be environmental, personal, social, economic or any other. The article may be useful for everyone, particularly women of all categories; young, middle aged, senior citizens, working outside or only at homes. NGOS (Non-Government Organizations) voluntary organisations, Government Institutions working for the welfare of general masses may also find useful.
Stress can be result of expectations and actual reality, more desires then can be fulfilled or due conflict of interest values .It is not only confined to educated women. All categories of women face challenges. Stress can also increase while living /sticking to own principles without compromising , irrespective of good or bad , not accepting the situations and not going along with the changing times and environment . Some disturbing, challenging factors are listed below.
Ordinary looks as media is giving too much importance to colour and physical appearance. Too thin or overweight body also disturbs many women. Less or thin hair or baldness is another reason.
Physical disability of any kind or physically not fit, unhealthy and deteriorating health.
Worry of no one to take care of during illness.
Jealous behaviour of relatives and friends due to good qualities and ones strengths and achievements.
Not able to full fill desires of living a lavish life style ,visiting expensive malls,and high class hotels and restaurants, to buy expensive and branded clothes and jewellery, gadgets, cars due to paucity of finances or any other factors.
Unsuitable social circle as per ones higher capabilities. Misfit in the group due to under or over qualifications, multi talented, inappropriate position at workplace, not able to exhibit ones talent and knowledge.
Low self-respect / self-esteem and self-confidence due to own weaknesses or due to environment like low status at work place or home.
Not able to make friends due to complexities at personal or home levels.
Staying away from own people, own country,relatives, near and dear ones for longer durations.
Family members not giving sufficient time/ attention and care particularly neglect or in different behaviour of spouse and children.
Feeling lack of physical security within family, work place and outside.
Too many restrictions within family or at the workplace.
Non social behaviour of inlaws, husband, children and other family members or neighbours like alcoholism, substance abuse, fights and quarrels.
Too much politics or expectations from the family members.
Husband having inappropriate behaviour / relation with other women.
Lack of adequate facilities like privacy at home like, toilets, bathroom/ washrooms, separate rest place / bed room.
Women forced/ compelled to do all household duties as many families,don’t hire help though they easily can afford it. Burdened with too much responsibilities that are difficult to complete.
Lack of bonding within family, not able to share personal issues within family, strained relations within family .Feeling of isolation and loneliness.
Politics at work place, deteriorating work environment, anti-social and unethical behaviour of people at work place, colleagues dragging in awkward situations.
Increased workload; inability to cope up, inappropriate positions at work -place. Hindrances created by colleagues to stop progress of the women.
Too much and unrealistic expectations from other people because of one's goodness and work efficiency.
Inadequate interaction at home or work place.
Unhealthy atmosphere being insulted, snubbed(verbal abuse).Harassment, taunting, mockery, sarcastic and humiliating behaviour both at work place and home.
Depressing atmosphere at home, mental disorders or other sicknesses / illnesses in family members.
Not married, If married having no children, having more daughters, having no son .(As some families have preference for sons)
Not able to learn new things due to lack of support and guidance, due to unfriendly and discouraging environment, lack of avenues /resources.
Financial constraints / inadequate money / uncertainty of future / old age who will take care if one falls sick.
Husband/ partner not doing professionally well, children not doing good in studies or professionally.
Lack of social or fighting back skills. Maybe not trained during childhood to tackle politics at both the fronts' i.e. home and workplace.
Frequent comparison with other people, siblings and friends.
Unrealistic and unreachable goals.
No purpose or aim in life.
Unfulfilled professional goals. Loss of job, loss of opportunities.
lack of alertness, efforts and initiativeness from women's side may lead women in difficult situation.(self-guilt)
Feeling of isolation and loneliness.
Engrossed in too much religious activities.
Imbalance in personal, social and worklife is also an obstacles in happiness.
Not financially independent or not working to earn money.
Husband or other family members take away money earned by women.
Loss of any relationships or friendship.
Some Symptoms;
Women who are disturbed or unhappy may show following symptoms;
Unorganised.Giving less attention to oneself and lack of personal hygiene.
Lack of enthusiasm, lack of interest in activities. Decreasing efficiency.
Avoiding social life and lack of interest in talking to people, meeting people.
Disturbed sleep,developing health issues, Irritability,weakness, short temperedness
Not able tocorrectly assess situations and peoples motives.
Showing overconfidence or too much enthusiasm, just to be a part of the group.
SUGGESSTIONS FOR POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS;
Experts suggest, assess and check before it is too late. WHAT IS the main DISTURBING FACTOR OR cause of stress, whether it is due to ill health , environment, situations , work load or due to people or a combination of all .Observe and try to find solutions and if need be talk to experts and genuine people. It may not be always very easy to overcome problems just by own efforts, some outside help may be required depending upon the situation . Following steps may help;
Identify and zero down problem or causes of frustrations.
See whether these could be avoided, reduced to minimum or totally eliminated.
If yes what could be the possible solutions.
See what is working in particular situation.
Focus on what makes one comfortable /happy.
Multipurpose solutions / combinations of actions may help as only one action may not be sufficient.
Develop more self confidence, enhance self-esteem.
Improve skills of handling situation and people that will give more confidence.
To overcome problems that cause frustrations ,stress, first and far most action is to tackle root cause. To reduce frustrations following suggestions may be tried out;
Walking, brisk walking, trekking, jogging, sports and games.
If stress is due to job try to take break for some time, get changed your role / duties / position, if this doesn't work change profession, take part time jobs if stress is due to long working hours.
Reduce workload at home if one is not able to cope up, take help of other family members, organise work, or hire domestic help. Learn to delegate.
Meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, stretching exercises.
Mental exercises, puzzles, quiz.
Social service that may divert mind from disturbing situations.
Travelling to different places, outings, going to picnics, historical places, pilgrimage
Working with nature, gardening.
Photography/ painting / drawing. (Arts and crafts).
Take sufficient rest and sleep as overexertion also leads to frustrations, irritability.
Sometimes too much perfectionism leads to stress. Be kind to yourself.
Correct assessment of ones capabilities and goals should be set accordingly. Assess ones strengths and weaknesses / limitations or weak points.
Taking care of one's health. Health is actual wealth.
Reduce too much expectations from people around you.
Music (both vocal and instrumental), dance and drama and other forms can be tried out.
Learning new skills,operating electronic gadgets, computer, writing blogs,twitter.
Learning driving, cycling, swimming or any other sports.
Stitching, weaving and embroidery or any other related art.
Cleaning house, dusting, mopping.
Arranging household things, clearing /sorting home decoration, flower and plants arrangements.
Cooking, trying new recipes (if interested in).
Making groups with like minded and happy and positive people, siblings and cousins talking to them on latest good topics ….. healthy communication helps
Bird watching,feeding birds, keeping pets like dogs and aquarium at home.
Watching comical movies, matches. Reading light books or comics etc.
Observing sky,stars, moon and sun moment.
Some people feel better by wearing a new or clean and pressed set of clothes, keeping home things neat and clean and in order. Finding happiness in small activities like drinking a hot cup of tea/ coffee at a favourite place of home in a beautiful mug.
Developing fighting back skills for right cause.
Learning new skills like operating laptop, different apps on mobile and computers.
Try simple self-esteem boosters like giving yourself compliments, listing ones strengths and achievements and talking with supportive friends and family and getting feedback about your positive qualities.
Dressing up nicely,wearing a new styled dress, going to saloon, changing hair style.
Sometimes engaging in house hold chores like making beds, Washing dishes while singing, getting rid of kitchen clutter and vacuuming lowers stress level and has unexpected health benefits .
If stress is due to working only at the household level then look for some activity outside the home. If stress is due to inadequate finances then look for avenues to increase income.
Choose, what may be practical and feasible in one's situation.